You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
