You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
