I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
