Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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