you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
where are my pants?
in the oven.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
