He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
