At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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