Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
