She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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