if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
