I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
