I want to stick my p in your. b.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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