Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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