the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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