did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
