there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
