It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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