A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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