I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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