just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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