He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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