I wish I could teleport
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just gift wrapped bread.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
