explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
