It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize