what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i will never coherently bang her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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