Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
