i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
