So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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