This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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