Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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