I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
