Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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