dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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