you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
His nipple licking is glorious
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