Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
