Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
