your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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