They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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