I'm laying in your front yard are you home
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
