this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
All I want is dick and wine.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
