she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
