someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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