If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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