I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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