I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
