Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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