I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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