he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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