I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity