Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
hey, what are you doing tonight?
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
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Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.