Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
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I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds