no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
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Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.