I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.