I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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