Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need water and some morals
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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