Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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