Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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