Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
