tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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