i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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