the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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