at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
