we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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