Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
with your own penis?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
