i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
what day is it and did you see me today?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
