Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
