oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
two words...techno handjob
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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